The "We can't handle marriage" Article

I of course like most people in my generation get most of my news from the internet.  Most of which are stories that I look at and think "Seriously?  This is what you are paying people to research?"  Here are some from this morning:

• How  Hulk Hogan's ex-wife spent her big divorce settlement.
• Butt sculpting tips of celebs.
• Pharrell was fired from McDonald's three times.
• Obama visits Bob Marley Museum in Jamaica
• Best and Worst ballpark beer values.

Now, just because i think these are pointless, don't think I didn't click to find out where to get a cheap beer, how awesome the museum is, and why in the world Pharrell was not a good fast food employee.  None the less, I feel absolutely no smarter having read any of those, yet I don't regret the 2 minutes I spent on them.  Sometimes our brains need a break people!!!

Anywho, as I was going through some of the "news" stories, something peaked my interest because it said "We can't handle Marriage anymore".  Um, okay?  So of course I watched the video and read the story.  For those that don't know; 9 times out of 10 the video says the EXACT same thing as the article below it.  It is just there with pretty pictures and to keep you interested longer.  

For those that haven't read the article, here is the article.  We can't handle Marriage anymore.  It really was an interesting read.  I think each relationship is different, so of course I don't feel every one of them applies to my marriage.  Here is what I liked best

"Best advice, throw out those cell phones. Put the phones away, put away the social media, put some boundaries around when you're going to be online and really try to connect with your partner. Communication is the number one thing In a marriage and if you don't have it you might as well toss it out the window."

Now, my husband doesn't have a cell phone.....shocking I know!  That reason is a whole can of worms in itself, but he no longer has his.  However, he does use his old smartphone as a computer/tablet/internet when we are at home.  We way more often than I would like to admit hop into bed and immediately both get on our phones looking at social media that most certainly can wait until the next day.  I mean, who isn't dying to know Kim Kardashian's new hair color; but pretty sure it can wait til morning.  But if you think about it, more than likely you have been going all day long whether it be with your job, kids, friends, life, cooking, etc, and is it really necessary to keep that phone with us for 20 minutes in bed?  Chances are you haven't had time for great conversation, or quiet snuggling with your spouse yet today, so don't let the phone be a barrier between that.  

One thing that drives me CRAZY, i mean CRAZY is seeing a table of people in a restaurant all sitting on their phones.  Seriously people?!?!?!  Enjoy each others company.  We were at a chain restaurant about a month ago, and there was a couple seated near us, and they BOTH sat on their phones the entire time!  I often just stared at them waiting for one of them to look up and speak, but nothin!!  The husband even ate his wings with one hand and had his phone in the other hand flipping through God knows what!

Put the phone down and spend some time with your spouse/partner!  You might discover that you actually still like them!!!  I know that I shared this article with Trent, and both of us want to try to be better about the phones in bed thing.  We obviously don't have the problem while eating out because, well, he doesn't even have one!

The Baking War

Chewy Brown Sugar Cookies

For those that know me, know that I would be happy as a clam cooking in the kitchen ALL. DAY. LONG.  Now, I am not saying I am the best cook in the world, but family still asks me to brings things when we get together and it keeps the hubs coming back for more.

That being said, my baking skills....aren't exactly in the same category.  I have never been good fond of baking because I don't usually like to follow a recipe.  I like to see and taste things, then make them my own.  90% of the time, it fares well.  Except for that time I made butternut squash ravioli, and well......we ordered a pizza!  Baking always has too many rules.  What I have figured out though is that if you follow those rules, most of the time what you are cooking turns out well.  I have been baking desserts for our weekly staff lunches and they have all been a hit, so maybe I'm not as bad as I think I am!  This has gotten me in the baking spirit!

Case in point this week.  Trent has been driving the bus for the winter overflow shelter, and Monday night was his last night.  So, he asked me to make something sweet to give to the other guys on their last night driving.  Sure, I can whip that up for you.  Thank goodness he gave me a 5 day heads up because; yes; it took me that long to find the right thing to make.  Decisions, decisions!  Do I make a cake? (no, I want to keep my cake plates), do I make a pie? (who makes pies??  Well, my mother-in-law does, but I could never replicate hers), bars of some sort (What fruit do I use this time of year that everyone would like), do I make cookies (winner, winner)!  And a winner indeed.

I needed something that tasted amazing. Like baking was what I did for a living, but without too many steps.  With me and baking (KISS: keep it simple stupid) is always the best philosophy.  One day I hope my skills land me first prize at the local fair!  Don't joke, those people can put out some good desserts!!  Granted I probably wouldn't win without a story about it being a recipe handed down from generation to generation and pops and I would always go to the groves and pick the fruit ourselves, but I digress!!

I went with Chewy Brown Sugar Cookies.  The photo above is the picture from the recipe website.

Here is how mine turned out: And yes, since they touched my hand, I had to eat them!

They were a hit and I have already been asked for the recipe.  Even my 3 year old nephew walked in his kitchen at home asking for auntie's cookies!  SCORE!! 

Here is what I did differently from the recipe: You didn't think I would follow it EXACTLY did you?!?!?!

-I used a little over a teaspoon of cinnamon.  It added great and distinctive flavor

-I skipped the step of rolling them in sugar.  I tasted the dough and thought that it was sweet enough as it was.  after eating them, I don't think I could imagine them being much sweeter.

So, baking isn't so bad after all!  I just still have to put my own "Ashley" touches on it!  I just have to!

Happy baking!

Gifts vs. Experiences

Tomorrow is a big day!  Well, maybe not as big as it was 6 years ago, but still pretty special!  Trent and I will be celebrating our 6 year anniversary this weekend!

6 years ago we were in paradise celebrating with families; and well, this dude getting out of the pool!

Insert your moment of the sappiness of all of the lovey dovey things people say to each other on days like this.  I will just say, I still love this nut as much  more than the day I married him!

People often ask "What did he get you for your anniversary?", and I have to stop and think.  We don't generally do gifts for each other.  This will be the first year that we aren't going away on a little getaway for our anniversary.  Well, except for that time we lived in New Bern and were so broke we lived off of canned peas and mac n' cheese.  We aren't "gift people".  We prefer to take the money that we would normally use and spend on a gift, and put it towards an experience together.  If there is something that either of us wants, we generally wait til we have the money for it, and then get it ourselves.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't turn down a gift.  He has surprised me before and gotten me something anyways (and vise versa), but not every year.  We are the kind of people that prefer to take what money we do have for things like anniversaries, and spend it on making memories!  Though one day we may lose our minds and not remember all of these things, I wouldn't trade the time together for anything.  The gift is time together!  In the hustle and bustle of life, we can forget to slow down and really enjoy each other.  Heck, and we don't even have kids yet!  So, I can imagine that one day we will cherish our getaways even more.

Oh; I don't even buy cards most of the time.  I will go to the store and look at them, then if I find one I like I take a picture of it and show Trent later!  Cheap?!?  Who you callin' cheap?  Cards are expensive!  I prefer to take my $6 and have an extra drink at dinner!

Okay, okay, enough of the mushy stuff!  I do have to share our favorite place for a getaway.

Old Edwards Inn is a place to go when you want to spoil yourself!  It is tucked away in the little town of Highlands, NC.  If you are anything like me....take the Dramamine!!  As you get close, those roads are miiiiiiighty twisted!  I think I just gave myself a headache thinking about it!  However windy the roads, it is SO worth it.  Since our anniversary is in March, we are there during their quiet time.  They have all sorts of accommodation options; but we prefer to stay in the Historic Inn portion. 

 What makes this place stand out is the attention to detail and the customer service that everyone on staff offers.

This is not a place to go if you are looking for a busy to do trip.  What draws us is that there is not much to do.  except the spa....oh the spa!!  We go during the week and at times have been the only people in there enjoying the amenities.  Perfect way to relax for sure!

Or, just sit by one of the fireplaces with a good glass of wine and enjoy your afternoon.  Don't just take my word for it.  Seriously.....check it out!

We are off to a hopefully wonderful dinner this evening!  We are trying Fratellis.  Of course I will let you know how it is!  Thanks for asking!

What's your Motivation?

For the longest time I would never get anywhere with bettering myself.  Whether it be physically or emotionally, I never seemed to grow!  Correction....my waist line grew, but my mind did not!  I started on this true lifestyle change journey a year and a half ago, and haven't looked back since.  Have I had ups and downs?   YES.  Days when I have had 2 brownies when I needed 0?  YES.  Have I had days where I wanted nothing to do with a workout, but instead thought all day long about putting on my PJ's when I get home?  DUH....have we met??  But all of that is why I have stayed on track!

I used to have unreal expectations of what it meant to "lose weight" or "live a healthy lifestyle".  The day something clicked in my head is the day my motivation changed!  That is a good feeling.

This photo is what I used to think would motivate me to want to change my eating habits and daily routine.  I would get the Victoria Secret magazines in the mail and cut out those pictures and tape them all over either my closet door, or my refrigerator door.  In the long run, this did nothing but hurt what I was trying to do.  That picture....is not me!  Nor, will it ever be me. Every time I would look at the photos, all it would do was mess with my head and make me so mad at myself that I wasn't there and didn't look like her after one month of working out and eating right (well most of the time anyways).

Once the light bulb went off in my head and I learned that my workouts, eating, and motivation could use a face lift, it is amazing the things that can happen.  Pinterest became my best friend.  That may sound a little weird when talking about a healthy lifestyle because isn't that where we all get those decadent recipes that are the most uhealthy things on the menu?  But it helped me find my motivation.  I went from the gal in the skimpy 2 piece that was airbrushed all over, to this; it is amazing the difference in myself!

I love to go on Pinterest and search the Health & Fitness section.  Not because I want to look like some of the fitness models in the work out demonstrations, but for tips on how to stay on track and especially for the sayings like this one.  

So, what motivates me?  Switching my closet door photo gallery from the 5'10 bombshells that my 5'6 self would never be, to what inspires me to be me and keep going!!  I still have pictures up on my closet door, but they are pictures of saying just like this one.  Once you find your positive motivation, look out!  You will be unstoppable!  It is not a perfect journey, so therefor I am not perfect at it.  Once I gave that "perfect" image the boot; I was able to start working on being the best me I can!